Better than porn…. almost.

Ok, yall know I love eatin’. I feel like George from Seinfeld as I want to combine the Holy Trifecta of man life; Sex,Food and T.V.

As I was looking throught the interwebs for pictures of stuff, I came across this site

This is why you’re fat.

At first I was like “holy hell, that looks nasty”, but then saw some stuff that I really want to eat. I’ve got a huge taste-on for lots of the stuff up there. I don’t like any of the stuff that mixes sweets with animal meats, but I’m sure somebody eats that shit.

If health was not a concern, I would gladley eat most of that stuff on a daily basis. The best tasting foods are always the ones that are the most unhealthy, unless you are a vegan and trained your mind to hate eating animals.

I like eating cows, pigs, chickens, ducks, fish, phesants, deer, and rabbits. There are many other animals I would like to eat, I just haven’t had the chance yet (be careful nature, I’ve got a shotgun and a cookbook)

Valentine’s Day! Fuck yeah!!

Hey yall! I love me some Valentine’s Day. There’s always mad candy everywhere, and lonely single girls looking to not be alone.

Here’s a few Valentine’s Day cards that you can print out and send to your loved one, or the person who is going to be touching your weiner/vag.

I made these first few ones… click them to make them bigger… I think..

comes with hot jungle fucking action and kung-fu grip

Candy is expensive

awwww... lets bone!

blowhole

I fount this one here (clickety click)

Happy Valentine’s Day, Yall!!!1!!oneone1!!!!!1

I have never played a demo this much

Hey yall! For those of yall who are just starting to look at the crap I type, I love video games. It’s not a new thing either. I have been playing since Atari days (I had a 1500 and 2600).

So, Feb 5th came around and I had a pre-ordered copy of KillZone 2. The game will be relased on the 27th and the company let fans with a pre-order download a demo of the game. So, like the good gamer that I am, I downloaded the hell out of that shit.

I am not easily impressed by video games. The super short KillZone 2 demo has me really excited. I have played that same demo about 20 or so times. It’s so damn short tho.Oh. there’s this video that plays at the end of the demo, set to classical music of dudes getting shot/blown up/ set on fire/ falling down. I wept man tears the first time I saw it.

First off, here is a link to the whole story of the alt. future the game takes place in CLICLY CLICKY#1. Thanks to the poster Smiggy for putting the history together.

The story resembles the events of WWI & the beginning of WWII a little bit, except with spaceships and altered metahumans.

The game is an FPS (that’s First Person Shooter for yall non-gamers). You don’t see your in-game character. You view and control the game through the eyes of your dude.

Anyways, I love the demo. The graphics are prolly the best I’ve ever seen on a console (PC games can do better, but they should). Other FPSs feel super weak, even the ‘realistic’ ones like the Call of Duty series. It’s like I’ve been playing FPS games with characters on rollerskates and spring boots shooting plastic guns.

Video game blah blah good blah blah. enough of me typing. Here goes some mess to look at.

below is the vid of dudes getting killed

In this next one, Red Faction fans take notice of 1:08 in the vid, then tell me you didn’t pee a little.

edit: here’s the best one. srry xbox360 gais. this one’s just for ps3.

New Get Rich Plan #50-something

I know science has come a loooong way in the past like 80 -100 years. There’s a ton of cool stuff that’s been invented that I know about. There’s prolly even more super cool inventions out there that I can’t even imagine.

One invention I have been thinking about a lot is the uppercut machine. Well it would be cooler if it was an uppercut robot. I was talking to a self proclaimed ‘Robot Hater’ the other day.(I didn’t know this person was anti-robot at the time.) And I was like ‘…yeah an uppercut robot would be my second purchase with my lotto money’ and she was like ‘That’s your second buy? You are going to waste all your money, and end up living in a refrigerator box.’

I didn’t even get a chance to explain why uppercut-bot is the best investment for me (other than a young monkey with strong uppercut potential). One of the main reasons is the failing sport of boxing.

He needed some training from the Uppercut-bot

Right now boxing sucks, but there’s still tons of money in it. So… if I have a man-sized uppercut-bot made, I will have enough money to train a regular semi-weak boxer. This boxer will train with the uppercut-bot by taking repeated uppercuts to the chin. After like a year or so, this boxer will be immune to regular human uppercuts and regular-sized robot uppercuts. It will take an upgrade version of uppercut-bot to even phase him. My fighter will destroy all who stand against him, for real. I mean, how can you beat a guy when one of your most devistating punches has no effect? You cant, unless you either buy an uppercut-bot (sold by my company HFC) and train with uppercuts, OR train your human uppercut to be as strong as an upgraded uppercut-bot. How one does that…. Hey, I can’t let all the secrets out.

Detailed, technical diagrams of Uppercut-bot. Clicky clicky to make bigger.

In the long run, I will get paid off my super uppercut-proof fighter(he WILL be the champ). The fights will get more exciting because we will see my guy take uppercuts right on the chin, and not flinch. Other boxers will get wise and start buying uppercut-bots from me. So, there. This one is for you ‘Robot Hater”, unicorns are dumb and stupid.

Best 2.5 Seconds of Your Life

This is a quick one yall. The best 2~3 seconds of your life.ever.

hellzyeah