Global Music is the Best Evar!!111!

November 17, 2008

I was talking to a buddy of mine about music. He starts bringing up all these crazy names. I don’t listen to a lot of music from outside of the US, so I was very unfamiliar with many of the artists. So, I decided to use the interwebz to expand my world view, and try out some new music.

I don’t speak any other languages besides English. I had to find some subtitled videos, so I could understand what the hell people are singing about. I figured I would share my favorite vids with the 10 people who read this mess.

Here they go. Enjoy yourself!

I would like to mayonnaise that ass. This next one is from a Mongolian group of R&B heart throbs.

This one is my favorite so far. Benny Lava.

Real Talk, Benny Lava might be one of the top ten videos of all times. It’s got flashy dance moves, good looking chicks, a super cool guy in shades, and there’s talk of highschool girls and other people getting peed on. Yes. This one goes in my top ten of all time.

Edit- that chick in the Benny Lava video has me captivated. She is hot and makes me feel funny in the pants.


Whatchuu Lookin for?

November 6, 2008

I was just recently exploring the little stats and shit this WordPress thing lets me keep track of. Very funny stuff. Folks out there who stumble upon my little blog and shit, I know who you are. More important, I know what you are googlin’. Man I thought I was a nasty bastard.

The following is a list of search terms that people googled that somehow led them to CarolinaHaze. I saw somebody else do a search list, so don’t credit me with any originality. After reading that, if you want to still give me credit, then go right ahead.

brooklyn sudano
top 10 2008 xobx 360 games
play dude
casual tits
“stacy dash”
dash playboy
stacy dash playboy
dope tits
rudy damn
obama girl tits
keisha knight pulliam tits
“brooklyn sudano”
really good games for 360
xobx 360 vs ps3
sexy stacey dash
“keisha knight pulliam”
stacy dash pictures
mixed race tits
who farts most men or women
mcdonald tits
down tits
stacy dash ass
ninja tits
skeet tits
how do i treat farting
stacey dash playboy
cheap whores
stacey rodgers
keisha knight pulliam
obama tits
tits president
palin mccain tits
loud farting by men tits spaceship

I have bolded the stuff that I am going to google later. I really want to know what casual tits are, and what they look like…. and ninja tits just sounds cool as hell/sexy/dangerous. I’ll bet me having the word “tits” like a bunch of timeS here puts this up on the google search thing that finds words that you type. tits

UPDATE: Somebody out there got to this site by googling “jacket made of dolphin skin”. Holy shit. Has Bill McDonald learned to use the interwebs? Is that from my twin that got separated at birth? It makes me feel good to know that someone else out there is thinking about jackets made out of dolphin skins.


November 4, 2008

I need some help yall. I have been looking for a song. The song is “Prime Time” It’s by the Alkaholiks f. Xzibit and Phil the Agony. I have only been able to find the weak ass Funkmaster Flex version that cuts the song off after the first verse. It was weak as shit then and it is weak as all hell now. Someone please help me find the whole version if this song. Anyone. If you can’t help, or you look and can’t find it, let me know. c’mon yall, you know I would help you find whatever dumb shit you wanted to find (and have helped several of you on some more than questionable quests). It’s just one song.

Monkeys are Always Funny

November 3, 2008

Look at this shit! It’s kinda old, so you might have seen it. If you have seen it or not, look at it again!

OK. That was awesome, super dangerous and disturbing all at once. First, monkeys in people clothes is funny every time. EVERY TIME. Too bad there are no subtitles on this gem. The dangerous part is the power of the monkey. It’s a fact; chimps are like 6 – 8 times stronger than humans. One slip up and that monkey could have ripped her boob off! (one more reason we need the show “Who Wants to Get Uppercut by a Strong Monkey”)

So here I am looking at this little clip and I’m like wow the Japanese people sure have a lot of free time on their hands. They have already watched all the types of shows that can be thought of. To keep entertained, they have to invent new shows to look at. Monkey Grope Variety Hour (or MGVH) should be the name of this one. But the Japanese being bored is my major concern. I mean how much free time does it take for an entire country to elevate to MGVH. I heard they work crazy hours and live in little houses and stuff. But I also know that they have more advanced robots than us. hmmmmm….. Have the Japanese invented worker bots that go to work for them while they stay home and watch TV? Robots is the only explaination I can think of that would allow the kind of free time needed to make MGVH.Just when I think they can’t make any better TV shows with monkeys in them I find this:

holy shit. I don’t know what’s up with American monkeys, but they need to get their shit together and learn how to ride a damn Segway. I mean, HUMANS here in the States have trouble riding a Segway. just look.

more American go-getters

Damnit I need some monkeys. We need to stay on top of the international monkey boob grope and Segway riding field, and I’m just the man to get the job done. GIMMIE SOME MONKEYS!!