One of the Greatest Movies Ever Made in History

March 26, 2009

We’ve all seen, or heard of Star Wars*. Well back in the day, some countries couldn’t get the real deal movie. To make up for this, they made their own versions of our movies. I started looking at a few of these foreign joints. Most of them suck ferret buttholes… Turkish Superman, Indian Superman (with Spiderwoman**?), Turkish Rambo (wait. this clip is actually badass) Turkish E.T. (holy what the fuck?!?)

There’s one other joint so fucking awesome I can’t even put it in the same post as T.Star Wars. Your computer would melt. Alls I’ll say is, Capitain America and the mexican wrestler El Santo vs Evil Spiderman. oh yes.

Anyways, if you looked at any of those links(like you should) you know what I’m talking about.

Before I Post up the vids, here’s a few spots to look for:

1:09 Spliced in clips from Original Star Wars

2:24 wtf? the Muppets and the cast from Sesme Street getting the shit beat out of them?!? (yes and it is better than anything you can imagine)

3:05 Turkish Luke starts punching heads off

3:34 Turkish Luke does battle with mummies

5:11 T. Luke fights… idunno what in the damn they are supposed to be.

6:48 Turkish Darth Vader magics his spear into huge ninja stars

There is just so much awesome jam packed into this one 10 minute scene that I’m sure I left something out. Please feel free to point out anything you think I missed. Get ready!

YES!!!!

Here’s the training montage for this one. It’s how Turkish Luke gets so beast. It has different music. The original montage has the Raiders of the Lost Arc  theme music. I just like this one better…

That’s enough awesome for this one post. Turkish Luke Skywalker is raw beast unchained.

*If you have never seen the original Star Wars Episode IV A New Hope, I recommend seeing it. It is a good movie with lots of movie fun in it.

**Indian Spider Woman, I want to do things to/in your body while Indian Superman sings us a love song.


Do Yall Remember When….

March 24, 2009

I was in the laboratory cooking up million dollar ideas and I came across a box with some cassettes in it. They were mostly Pause Tapes* I made back in the day.  If you have never made a Pause Tape, you are a young’in.

Anyways, I found an old walkman that magically still worked. I spent the rest of the day listening to old tapes, and hating music today. Then I went out front and yelled at some kids to quit playing by my lawn. On the way back inside, I fell and broke my hip. It’s cool tho- I got life alert.

Enough of me typing crap. Look at this stuff and remember how good it was. Then get all your cash together and send it to me.

…… I had this on cassette and CD (when CDs came out)

OK yall. Main Source was my shit. I can’t find their joint “Snake Eyes”. It had the sample from a beer commercial at the beginning.. hrmph. I’ll just have to get my fix at home, on cassette.

LONS!

I bought the cassette single to this one.

ok… that’s all for now.

*Pause Tape is what you call home made recorded tapes. The name comes from hitting pause on the blank tape while the next song is prepared. It is not a mix tape. Mix Tapes were made and mixed by DJs like Dirty Harry, DJ JUICE, DJ Screw (the king/creator of “Screw Tapes“)


Better than Deal or No Deal?

March 16, 2009

Just kidding, that show is weak. This is the real Deal or No Deal, if it involved saying Japanese phrases and letting a machine catapult a hammer into your nuts.

Here’s some shit from the CarolinaHaze Archives. It’s good stuff. Hammergoat.

Weak Ass Bitch

Yakkety Sax is Pure Win for all time

Bert and Ernie Anti Up.

Somebody help me find this girl. (the girl at the end of the post… anybody?)


C’mon yall, help me out! Please!

March 11, 2009

I just heard about some interweb mash-ups and remixes to a Bowflex commercial. It’s the commercial where the douchebag is all smug and at the end he says “I gave all my fat clothes to my fat friends”. Well some people remixed that commercial, and I need to see it.

If you know of this commercial and have links (that still work) olease share them with me. I need to see that shit. It’s driving me bat-sack-ape-shit crazy because apparently the whole interweb has seen it, except me. I need links to it, or something! I’m really going nuts and I am going to eat my printer if I don’t see that damn vid.

C’mon yall! Im going crazy for realz.


Where in the World is CarolinaHaze???

March 3, 2009

ok…. I don’t know where to start… Ummmm…. well first Start Here and read that stuff.

I am a gamer. I have been playing since Atari 2600 days and I love it. So, Killzone 2 finnaly came out on the 27th of February in the year 2009. Since that day, I have been on it. Sorry to everybody I told to “leave me the hell alone for once in life, so I can have some damn fun”.

The 10 of you who read this mess I type, hold tight. Once I am bored with killing, I will get back to doing other stuff. I might even go outside for fun, and not to just get to the car so I can go resupply.

If you want to team up with me, or get shot in the face 100x send me a message. I’ll give you my PSN. I’m only 1 badge away from getting my Turret badge and getting the Repair ability. I’m ranked up to Assault class right now. I got in the top 6% of stats for all players last week. The game is still pretty new, so take that as you will.Oh… I played the single player mode for like 3 hours total, then tried the online modes, and haven’t touched the campaign since. I’ll finish the story some time…… there’s just too many dudes online waiting to get shot in the face by me.

I always aim for the face with all guns.

Edit: No messages on this blog… here’s the PSN: MechaGhidora.