Words Help Ease the Suffering

Throughout time, people have used written words to express themselves and ease the troubles and pains of life. For as long as there have been words, poetry has been there. I use to make fun of people who claimed to be poets, until I needed a way to lighten my (and the rest of Eastern North Carolina’s) burden.

This summer, Bill McDonald has been unmerciful. The death toll is at about 62, and until yesterday the drought was unyielding. For whatever reason, he was seen flying around on the hovercraft he made out of old pizza boxes, chicken bones and apple cores (and powered by orphan tears), spitting boiling highlighter ink and cotter pins on the local crops. Why? Who knows. All I know is that a sacrifice must be made to appease the mighty bastard.

Until a suitable offering is made, I will ease the suffering with some haiku that we have written. The we refers to the Bill McDonald Alert Action First Response Team.

Bill McDonald gun
shoots herpies and ninja stars
humans can’t withstand
————————–
Bill McDonald hates Earth.
One day his plan will come true
Karate chop death
——————————-
Bill McDonald. Beast
Superb Sexual Prowess
Skeets on your mother

Bill McDonald about to skeet on your mom
Bill McDonald about to skeet on your mom

A baby is missing

A dingo ate your baby?

No. Bill McDonald
———————–
Animals are scared
Nature knows who is the Boss
Even bears are scared
—————————

Killing with one punch
Killing with one punch

Pure Rage, Laser Breath
One punch instant death.
Bill McDonald pwnz

Keep your mouth shut, man
You’re a dead motherfucker
Bill McDonald’s here!

Bill McDonald’s car
Made of adamantium
and God’s skin. Awesome.

If you have a Bill McDonald Haiku you would like to share, feel free to send it in, or leave it in the comments. I will post another set of Haiku if needed.

A Haiku is a poem with three lines and a limited amount of syllables. it follows the syllable structure of 5,7,5. (If you didn’t know, now you do.)

***Thanks go to “Eric” for providing some extra haiku to help lessen the suffering.

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3 Responses to Words Help Ease the Suffering

  1. cornelius huffer poopstance says:

    hard work pays off in the carolina haze. keep them laughing

  2. Eric says:

    Keep your mouth shut, man
    You’re a dead motherfucker
    Bill McDonald’s here!

    Bill McDonald’s car
    Made of adamantium
    and God’s skin. Awesome.

  3. Eric says:

    He peed on your kids
    You won’t do a goddamn thing
    They have become Gods!

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