I don’t usually talk/type/write about bathroom humor. Well, unless it’s a dog taking a dump. For whatever reason in the universe, it makes me laugh EVERY time. I mean EVERY TIME. People taking a dump is a different story. Not so funny…. Farting on the other hand… now THAT is funny.
I’m sure you know that men and women treat farts very differently. Most men (no matter what they try to tell you) are very proud of their farts. Some men have contests, or rivalry type battles with their farting(can be dangerous when innocent bystanders get caught in the crossfire).
Some people have put farts into different classifications based on sound, smell, and duration. I’m sure most men will readily admit to performing or being witness to at least 3 of the farts on that list(in link above).
Women, however will not. It takes lots of prying and clever words to get the average woman to talk about farts. Is it because farts come out of butts, and smell bad? I often wondered why it was like that. That got me to thinking, who are the butts of most fart pranks? That’s right, women. Almost EVERY woman I know has a fart story that makes them shed tears (in a sad way). A prank perpetrated by Dad, brother, cousin, boyfriend, husband,mom/grandma, is usually enough to scar a female into hating farts.
I have been talking to women about farts lately. I have been trying to find what incident it was that made them hate farts(could be why I’m not getting past date #3 lately).
The stories have been fantastic tales of legendary farts that have seriously damaged some of these women. Well, they don’t think the stories are the stuff of legend, but if they were to tell another man….. he might propose on the spot, just to be married to legend.
One girl told me about a car fart that lasted until the car was sold. Another told me about a Dutch Oven her ex-boyfriend gave her that made her pass out. One woman told me of an ex who farted the color out of the seat of his favorite chair. Others include farts making a girl’s hair frizz out, and one story of barnyard animals attacking(remember, I live in the country)
The main point I’m getting at is this: Women, don’t hide your farts and their stories. I know that they may evoke painful memories, but we can’t let some of these tales get lost.