The Office

I don’t care what the show is, or what the commercial is for, I can’t get enough of monkeys on T.V. No not the music group from back in the day, but our closest relatives in the animal kingdom. I know some of you are like “Wait Haze, monkeys have tails, and apes such as chimpanzees and gorillas don’t. Get it right.” I say it doesn’t matter to me. They are all awesome. Like when they wear suits and act like they are reading newspapers.I saw a video on YouTube where a guy taught a monkey how to do Karate. It was the best video ever. The monkey was chopping boards in half and everything.

I like the commercials for the job finding website (whose name I forget because I’m too busy laughing at monkeys) with the man who works in the office with all the monkeys. The guy is always trying to do work, but the monkeys are having fun, and the man gets mad. After one of these commercials goes off, I always wish that I could work in that office.

I was telling someone that I wish I could work in that office and they were like “NO HAZE!! That would suck! They would be throwing their crap at you, and looking up porn on your computer, and not the good porn. Then they would eat your lunch and try to fight you.” That was one of the times I wish I had my uppercut monkey. *you know who you are, Monkey Hater ..2*

It would not go down like that. First of all, if a monkey is smart enough to work in an office, it will know how to go to a bathroom. Even still, if a monkey is awesome enough to get the drop on me, I deserve to get monkey crap thrown at me. About the monkeys looking up porn on my cpu at the office, I wouldn’t mind. They might know of some great sites. I would let the office monkeys look up porn. I’m most likely looking at porn anyways.Well… I don’t know about that one. They might be looking at that stuff that comes on Discovery. It’s always some animals humping. I want to see people doing it with each other. I think I would just laugh at animals doing it, because it’s funny. Oh yeah, as for a monkey eating my lunch….. Like I said earlier, if a monkey can get the drop on me and steal my lunch and eat it, then I don’t deserve to have a lunch for that day.

Alls I’m saying is, let me work in an office with monkeys. Some people say they work with a bunch of monkeys, then when I drop by the office for lunch with that person(secretly trying to look at monkeys in suits) all I see is regular humans reading newspapers and throwing crap at each other.

Paragraph breaks provided by Mrs. Dixion’s 9th grade English class.


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