Giant Robots = Win

To those of you who know me personally, you know about some of my dreams. For the most part, my dreams come true. I should call them goals rather than dreams. Calling them dreams makes the task or objective seem unreachable. Nothing I dream of is unreachable. I get laughed at when I express some of my goals, because people think they are impossible. They are wrong, but it’s ok for them to laugh. Some of the stuff I think of is pretty funny, and sounds impossible… at first.

After my years of writing letters, and essays, and making hundreds of art projects about the subject, it has finally happened. Someone has come one step closer to building a giant robot for me. Look at this article here. All it needs is to be built a lot bigger, and a driver’s seat.

Real quick- I just wanted to address some of my loving fans. Robot Hater number 1 and 2. You know who you are(Robot Hater #2 you know in your heart that unicorns are dumb AND stupid and nowhere as good as giant robots…and that you are not the original hater)

Now that science has come this far, all I need is $10mil to buy a team of scientists/engineers to build one of these robots for me.

PhotoShop is the funnest evah!!!!

I love stuff that’s funny. I am a very visual person, so one of my favorite types of funny mess is goofy pictures. Just yesterday, a good friend of mine made up a fun game using Photoshop (thanks Derelik). The game doesn’t have a name, but the rules are simple:

We both start out with the same base picture.

This was our first round picture.

Next, we both alter the image in some kind of funny way and take turns sending the results back and forth.

This is the first volley.

His

Mine

2nd volley

Mine

His

Next starter image

His

Mine

fun stuff.

The best part of the game is that it’s always funny.

I would like to extend an invitation to anyone who would like to participate in the game. All you need to do is:

1. Upload a starter image to a photo hosting site like Photobucket or Flicker, and post the link in the comments section here.

2. If you want me to use the picture in our next game, say so. If you want to play along too, say so.

3. If you’re playing too(feel free to use any of the starter images) , post your doctored picture in the comments, and I will do a picture in return to yours.

4.Look at the comedyz. Laugh.

5.??????

6. Profit.

The Power of the Interwebz?

I like surfing the web. I love seeing some good funny clips, looking at “behind the scenes” sports info, and reading other people’s blogs*. One of my favorite parts of reading anything on the interwebz is the part where other readers can leave a comment. For me reading the comments is pretty fun. I get to see what people were able to gather from what they just read or saw, or how they REALLY feel about a subject.

With the interweb granting commenters anonymity, that whole “”how they REALLY feel” is much more evident. I could just be kinda slow, but it seems to me that there is still an oddly high level of HATE in the U.S. I say “oddly” because many of the hateful comments are things that would not be said in the company of the object of one’s hate. I have been following a few satirical blogs about race.

Here are a few of them:

Stuff White People Like

Stuff Educated Black People Like

Black People Love Us. (it’s not a blog, but the your letters section tells the story)

Amidst the comments of praise, there are comments from people who completely didn’t understand that the large sweeping generalizations are supposed to be satire.

Here’s what satire means: human or individual vices, follies, abuses, or shortcomings are held up to censure by means of ridicule, derision, burlesque, irony, or other methods, ideally with an intent to bring about improvement.

By reading some of the comments, this satire was completely lost on some readers. Satire aside, some of the comments are just plain ignorant and hateful. With the interwebz bringing people from different backgrounds together on many of the same sites, one would think that understanding of an individual apart from their racial stereotype would be much easier. Once again, looking at the comments in any blog about race will tell you otherwise.

I had a direction when I started typing this, but I have gone astray…… Well, I’ll finish with a question for you (yes, you reading this right now).

Have the comments made in any section of a website changed what you thought about a group of people(economic, racial, lifestyle ect…)?

Everybody knows it. Everybody knows it’s true.

I don’t usually talk/type/write about bathroom humor. Well, unless it’s a dog taking a dump. For whatever reason in the universe, it makes me laugh EVERY time. I mean EVERY TIME. People taking a dump is a different story. Not so funny…. Farting on the other hand… now THAT is funny.

I’m sure you know that men and women treat farts very differently. Most men (no matter what they try to tell you) are very proud of their farts. Some men have contests, or rivalry type battles with their farting(can be dangerous when innocent bystanders get caught in the crossfire).

Some people have put farts into different classifications based on sound, smell, and duration. I’m sure most men will readily admit to performing or being witness to at least 3 of the farts on that list(in link above).

Women, however will not. It takes lots of prying and clever words to get the average woman to talk about farts. Is it because farts come out of butts, and smell bad? I often wondered why it was like that. That got me to thinking, who are the butts of most fart pranks? That’s right, women. Almost EVERY woman I know has a fart story that makes them shed tears (in a sad way). A prank perpetrated by Dad, brother, cousin, boyfriend, husband,mom/grandma, is usually enough to scar a female into hating farts.

I have been talking to women about farts lately. I have been trying to find what incident it was that made them hate farts(could be why I’m not getting past date #3 lately).

The stories have been fantastic tales of legendary farts that have seriously damaged some of these women. Well, they don’t think the stories are the stuff of legend, but if they were to tell another man….. he might propose on the spot, just to be married to legend.

One girl told me about a car fart that lasted until the car was sold. Another told me about a Dutch Oven her ex-boyfriend gave her that made her pass out. One woman told me of an ex who farted the color out of the seat of his favorite chair. Others include farts making a girl’s hair frizz out, and one story of barnyard animals attacking(remember, I live in the country)

The main point I’m getting at is this: Women, don’t hide your farts and their stories. I know that they may evoke painful memories, but we can’t let some of these tales get lost.